weak

not because i don’t want to,

is because i don’t know how to.

i know i am at wrong but…is just too painful.

i am sorry.

for all that, I am a big fat loser.

*digs hole, stuff head in*

cries…..

i do not need a reason

I bought the Black one. Classier (:

“I can’t fight this feeling any longer….”

In such a short span of time, so many have changed. I left Uni, and started my internship at Menara IGB. It has been a week already and things have been pretty hectic for an intern of my position. You cannot imagine the load they have on me. Good and bad I would say, it will gain me experience of a wider range.

I might sound like a brat, but I am tired, of everything but work. Don’t ask me what but I am physically and mentally tired. With a stomach full of acid, with eyes so dark with circles, and no clothes to wear to A Journey Through Time which will be held in Star Hill, I am so close to experiencing a burn out.

So far, work has been cool. I got to experience work load like a staff but not as an intern because the particular department I am placed in is experiencing a shortage of staff. Hence, I am required to deal with tasks that requires a lot of my personal judgement and what not. I am really scared shit that I will screw up. I really would not want that.

Everything around me revolves so quickly that I can hardly grasp hold of any of it. Today, I get a day off because is a public holiday. Even so, I can’t rest well because I am induce with so much medicine. Not cool.

Emotionally, I have been pretty messed up too. Not to the extend of popping Lexapro again but I am pretty clogged up in the head. I need to get it flushed. Have you ever feel that you just couldn’t care less and want to leave things the way it is because it is the best way to things? It sound irresponsible but like I said, I am tired.

So much for being tired, I’ve written so much.

Stay tune, I will be uploading pictures of my work place and what I have been doing lately.

Till then, you know I love you all.

I always thought you were my…

because I never made you smile like that

Let me give you nightmares tonight.

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The vividness that aches

The strumming sound of the guitar makes me realize that I’m slipping away from myself.

Is as though I know so much about the path ahead of me but in reality, I ain’t know shit about it.

It was getting dark and I got comfortable by throwing it a warm welcome.

“Hey Darkness, welcome back to my life.” I once again, was weak.

Back to square one.

It only took that much to push my button and it got pushed hard.

The little Sue in my head told me what I did was a mistake.

For once, I knew very sure what I wanted and I dismissed her comment.

Why does my heart ache so much even though I follow what she told me to do?

Silence, guilt and staring into blank space seem s to be hanging out with me lots.

Can’t help it can they? Since my emotions seems to serving them well.

I need to shop for a smile. Anyone knows where they sell good ones?

Melbourne perhaps? (:

The “normality”I am going through now, I need to get out of it.

Is because of that one, I know I can do better than this.

Oh mi God!

I just saw something so damn hot. I never knew photography can be so sexy.

Nerd/Geek @.@

This is no Auntie Anne’s.

I am sweeping the cob webs of this blog

Sue says hi and sends her love from China. She is barely coping with the inability to access certain main sites which she feeds off for her livelihood. The inability to blog stalk, twitter and facebook is taking a toll on her physical health. She is currently sick and is drowning her sorrows by emotionally eating lots of fatty food. She is attributing this illness of hers to her overly extended stay in China.

Please pray for her that she will be able to make it back to Malaysia alive and well.

 

Nerd/Geek

Thin -spired!